What can I say, this kid has learned a little about "blooming where planted." Happy about that. Happy that he took up this offer to be interviewed and is owning his unique background.
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
Proverbs 13:12
6/12/2009
5/04/2009
Pluralism? Tolerance?
This month Singapore society's strong polarized views over homosexuality has blown up in the local media over the leadership in a woman's group called AWARE. The arts community has been vocally in the middle of the fray. It's been ugly.
It appears to be a watershed event where under the rhetoric of "inclusiveness" and "pluralism" flames of intolerance have been fanned toward Christians/Christianity or any whose convictions are for the equal right to speak of or uphold traditional moral values in the civic arena.
Jesus is still the Son of God and Saviour. The Holy Spirit brings conviction and some choose to turn & follow. The Father "is not willing that any should perish, but that all would come to repentance." I read John chapter 1 again and am strengthened with an eternal view. However,
Please pray I will have wisdom to be an agent of peace and truth with grace and character.
It appears to be a watershed event where under the rhetoric of "inclusiveness" and "pluralism" flames of intolerance have been fanned toward Christians/Christianity or any whose convictions are for the equal right to speak of or uphold traditional moral values in the civic arena.
Jesus is still the Son of God and Saviour. The Holy Spirit brings conviction and some choose to turn & follow. The Father "is not willing that any should perish, but that all would come to repentance." I read John chapter 1 again and am strengthened with an eternal view. However,
Please pray I will have wisdom to be an agent of peace and truth with grace and character.
4/24/2009
4/22/2009
Coming Soon...
I began to sense the "marching orders" to do this as I watch a few local drama presentations last Christmas. Then through my little post-it note resolution gatherings, some of the ideas came into better focus. Despite feeling poorly, I knew I was hearing the Lord say to me: "JUST DO IT" (at the same time I was deciding about going to Egypt). So , gulp, I stepped out with some partners to see about putting together a showcase/workshop like this. It's been very healing to have a little theatre community on Thursday nights working on this project together. So much fun to have a team to rally, shepherd, pray & work with!
There are larger images of the full brochure at my Theatre Ministry Blog. The 20+ who are helping me put this on have been great! We've had a great time rehearsing since the first of February. Now, if we can get some more folks registered, it will really be a hit!
Young Life, Singapore - my "plug"
When asked to write a short paragraph for promoting the ministry of Young Life here in Singapore, here's what I penned:
When we returned to Singapore after spending a school year in USA, our family had a hard time finding contentment and figuring out where we fit. Life circumstances had changed here, and we had all changed from being back in the nurture of a larger circle of friends and having family nearby. As we tried to find contentment and equilibrium upon our return, our sons discovered WyldLife and YoungLife. The genuine caring and attention of the staff, along with the activities/events helped our boys "find their feet" again. YL gave them a sense of being part of a larger community of faith than what they knew in their local church or school, as well as a new kind of grounding in this country that has been their home since 1999.
In just this one short school year, God has loved and strengthened our family through Young Life here on many different levels. They've offered listening ears of Godly people who can speak into our lives. They've given support, and coaching, in sports. They've provided the opportunity to attend fun Christian camps. And the latest opportunity is a YoungLife USA summer job for our teenager who will now take another step toward independence in a wholesome environment (Trail West, Colorado). We are grateful for the influence YoungLife is having on our boys' development as Christian leaders with strength, character, and a good dose of craziness!
In just this one short school year, God has loved and strengthened our family through Young Life here on many different levels. They've offered listening ears of Godly people who can speak into our lives. They've given support, and coaching, in sports. They've provided the opportunity to attend fun Christian camps. And the latest opportunity is a YoungLife USA summer job for our teenager who will now take another step toward independence in a wholesome environment (Trail West, Colorado). We are grateful for the influence YoungLife is having on our boys' development as Christian leaders with strength, character, and a good dose of craziness!
4/06/2009
Gypsy Church
A few weeks ago I started something for friends here in Singapore who are not settled in a church. I call it my "Gypsy Church."
Via email, I invite them along to meet James and I whenever we're going to be visiting somewhere, or he might be a guest preacher (because of his work with pastors, we often go to see them on Sundays). Instead of going alone now i invite these others along and every week someone on the list joins to be a "visitor in community!"
It's been fun to see the response. It's a little crazy and unconventional, but I ever since I thought about the idea, I wasn't able to stop thinking about it. A good sign that it's something I'd better act upon!
Hopefully, eventually these Gypsys will plug in to one of the churches we visit!
(all of the original "5 stars" are now in various churches tho only one of them was attending church when we started!)
We'll go to 3 different churches over Easter weekend. Trinity Christian Centre for a musical drama "Hope", the Bloodbank to donate blood on Saturday at 4PM, Barker Road Methodist for Sunrise & breakfast 6:30AM...and still dreaming up what to do after that...
Last Sunday I ran the gammut of variety of traditions. I went to our former home church Grace Assembly of God, their second venue in Bukit Batok. Pastor Lim was preaching. He's definitely A list for Singaporean preachers/teachers. Any list of preachers I think he'd be on the A list.
Every part of Worship in Grace Assembly's new venue in Bukit Batok. It was as alive and vibrant and modern and exciting as the traditional worship experience at St. George's was dull (8AM is their most traditional/liturgical service of many options). What an amazing thing to have such a DRASTIC contrast in a few short hours.
Whenever I'm visiting churches I imagine what it might be like to be seeking God and venture to church to find him. Worship here at 8AM is still the same as it probably was in the 1700's (except for women are up front reading Scripture). I wonder...how, oh HOW, does the traditional church appeal to people in 2009? Is there any hope for them to keep the next generation coming to church once they are out of the nest and making worship choices on their own?
A friend from this church in her 50's found out about a relationship with Jesus and decided to live life as his follower 3 years ago. She "found Christ" through the Alpha Course, but attends this church with her familly in tow now. She is only now reading the Gospel of John and can't believe she's waited this long to do that. Finally she's actually reading the historical account from an eyewitness to the life of the Lord who's changed her worldview and she's surrendered her allegiance to. She stayed at church Sunday to hear the monotone - read from a transcript - sermon again at the 10AM service!
I also read GIRL MEETS GOD last year - written by brilliant Columbia post grad student Lauren Winner who first converted as a teenager to conservative judaism and then later found Christ and made her home in the Episcopal church. The book chronicles her first year as a Christian, comparing the practices and theology of both religions. So, I know that some younger people are drawn to Anglican style worship.
But oh my, even in the front row at St. George's, and trying desperately hard to stay engaged, and keeping my hands and body active (what with all the standing and sitting and kneeling and activity switching from the bulletin, to red worship book, and hymnbook), I was STILL really fighting the inclination to take a nap!
Via email, I invite them along to meet James and I whenever we're going to be visiting somewhere, or he might be a guest preacher (because of his work with pastors, we often go to see them on Sundays). Instead of going alone now i invite these others along and every week someone on the list joins to be a "visitor in community!"
It's been fun to see the response. It's a little crazy and unconventional, but I ever since I thought about the idea, I wasn't able to stop thinking about it. A good sign that it's something I'd better act upon!
Hopefully, eventually these Gypsys will plug in to one of the churches we visit!
(all of the original "5 stars" are now in various churches tho only one of them was attending church when we started!)
We'll go to 3 different churches over Easter weekend. Trinity Christian Centre for a musical drama "Hope", the Bloodbank to donate blood on Saturday at 4PM, Barker Road Methodist for Sunrise & breakfast 6:30AM...and still dreaming up what to do after that...
Last Sunday I ran the gammut of variety of traditions. I went to our former home church Grace Assembly of God, their second venue in Bukit Batok. Pastor Lim was preaching. He's definitely A list for Singaporean preachers/teachers. Any list of preachers I think he'd be on the A list.
Every part of Worship in Grace Assembly's new venue in Bukit Batok. It was as alive and vibrant and modern and exciting as the traditional worship experience at St. George's was dull (8AM is their most traditional/liturgical service of many options). What an amazing thing to have such a DRASTIC contrast in a few short hours.
Whenever I'm visiting churches I imagine what it might be like to be seeking God and venture to church to find him. Worship here at 8AM is still the same as it probably was in the 1700's (except for women are up front reading Scripture). I wonder...how, oh HOW, does the traditional church appeal to people in 2009? Is there any hope for them to keep the next generation coming to church once they are out of the nest and making worship choices on their own?
A friend from this church in her 50's found out about a relationship with Jesus and decided to live life as his follower 3 years ago. She "found Christ" through the Alpha Course, but attends this church with her familly in tow now. She is only now reading the Gospel of John and can't believe she's waited this long to do that. Finally she's actually reading the historical account from an eyewitness to the life of the Lord who's changed her worldview and she's surrendered her allegiance to. She stayed at church Sunday to hear the monotone - read from a transcript - sermon again at the 10AM service!
I also read GIRL MEETS GOD last year - written by brilliant Columbia post grad student Lauren Winner who first converted as a teenager to conservative judaism and then later found Christ and made her home in the Episcopal church. The book chronicles her first year as a Christian, comparing the practices and theology of both religions. So, I know that some younger people are drawn to Anglican style worship.
But oh my, even in the front row at St. George's, and trying desperately hard to stay engaged, and keeping my hands and body active (what with all the standing and sitting and kneeling and activity switching from the bulletin, to red worship book, and hymnbook), I was STILL really fighting the inclination to take a nap!
3/31/2009
Jet Jockee
Too funny.
Facebook is reconnecting the world.
We just spent a few days connecting with a outrageously fun friend I've not seen since dating his brother in the early 80's.
Another lifetime ago.
But for the past 9 years I've known he is mutual friends with our colleagues, and last week I saw he was going to Thailand. So I posted on his wall:
YOU'RE SO CLOSE, YOU'VE GOT TO COME ON DOWN TO SINGAPORE!
He took up the invitation and is my son Cameron's new super hero.
Living in a modern city in the middle of South East Asia, a hub for travel elsewhere, we get a lot of guests coming through here on their way somewhere else. It's an interesting and regular part of our life that those we influence, or are influence by, often are people we only see for 2 hours or a few days and then may never see again.
So when I announced that an old friend of mine was coming to Singapore my boys, 12 and 16, rolled with it without rolling their eyes. Sure. They'd go out to lunch with another visitor friend of their parents they'd never met.
"I'm not going to tell you, but sometime over lunch, ask him what he does for work" I whispered to Tyler.
This friend hands a dollar bill out to each of my boys, "This is my bosses dad."
Seriously.
He's working for a wealthy family in the Middle East. He works 6 weeks wherever the plane is, then has 6 weeks back home in Seattle. This 4 months the plane is being serviced so he's seeing what there is to see in South East Asia and using up Marriott reward points enjoying the executive club and a room with a view.
What does a missionary family do to entertain a single man who for work hangs out in 5 star hotels of Monte Carlo or Paris waiting for his employer to decide where in the world they want to party next, or whether they'd like for the jet to courier some of his favorite fruit from their home town?
What could we possibly do that he may not have done before?
We took him to a FISH SPA, a new gimmick alternative to a Chinese foot massage. We spent 40 minutes letting the Turkish "Doctor FIsh" swarm our feet and nibble off dead skin.
A lot of living has gone on in more than 20 years since I've seen him as a teenager, but mannerisms, the sense of humor, the voice inflections, the twinkle in his eye as he talks about a prank or tells a joke comes out of a grown puppy-man who loves life and brings life and affection to everyone he touches.
And he touches a lot.
As I enjoy our first big bear hug, or see him throw Cameron in the pool, or watch him put his hand on the shoulder of the hotel's bell captain or the ice cream seller as he speaks to them (or the gals at the stoplight, in the RED BULL convertible, whom he asked for samples...and got4 cans by climbing across the backseat of their car and riding along with them to the next light!).
I am reminded how powerfully affirming and humanizing it is to warmly touch other people when we speak to them. Cultural appropriateness be damned! No one - not even strangers - seems to mind a hand on the shoulder, or a hug from the side. I'm encouraged by watching Randy to embrace my outgoing American culture and keep being generous with affection here.
I also believe that he's encouraged by spending time with his old friends here. I know he was observing things about us that influenced him. I'm not sure what, but he was loved on for the last 5 days. Days filled with rich memories, great conversations, a quick time of prayer. With our colleagues the Webbs, we were a chorus of voices from his past who can imagine the impact of what his ultimate contribution could be from his unique position.
Am I a dreamer to see in him a 21st Century Daniel or Joseph? Maybe. But as he heads off to Vietnam and Cambodia on this little Asia tour, I can hopefully envision and pray for the influence he will have as he spends time with God and then simply shares the genuine faith & relationship with Jesus part of who he is with the friends he makes, and touches, through his work.
If he can find a way to do that, the Holy Spirit can do the rest of the talking.
Facebook is reconnecting the world.
We just spent a few days connecting with a outrageously fun friend I've not seen since dating his brother in the early 80's.
Another lifetime ago.
But for the past 9 years I've known he is mutual friends with our colleagues, and last week I saw he was going to Thailand. So I posted on his wall:
YOU'RE SO CLOSE, YOU'VE GOT TO COME ON DOWN TO SINGAPORE!
He took up the invitation and is my son Cameron's new super hero.
Living in a modern city in the middle of South East Asia, a hub for travel elsewhere, we get a lot of guests coming through here on their way somewhere else. It's an interesting and regular part of our life that those we influence, or are influence by, often are people we only see for 2 hours or a few days and then may never see again.
So when I announced that an old friend of mine was coming to Singapore my boys, 12 and 16, rolled with it without rolling their eyes. Sure. They'd go out to lunch with another visitor friend of their parents they'd never met.
"I'm not going to tell you, but sometime over lunch, ask him what he does for work" I whispered to Tyler.
This friend hands a dollar bill out to each of my boys, "This is my bosses dad."
Seriously.
He's working for a wealthy family in the Middle East. He works 6 weeks wherever the plane is, then has 6 weeks back home in Seattle. This 4 months the plane is being serviced so he's seeing what there is to see in South East Asia and using up Marriott reward points enjoying the executive club and a room with a view.
What does a missionary family do to entertain a single man who for work hangs out in 5 star hotels of Monte Carlo or Paris waiting for his employer to decide where in the world they want to party next, or whether they'd like for the jet to courier some of his favorite fruit from their home town?
What could we possibly do that he may not have done before?
We took him to a FISH SPA, a new gimmick alternative to a Chinese foot massage. We spent 40 minutes letting the Turkish "Doctor FIsh" swarm our feet and nibble off dead skin.
A lot of living has gone on in more than 20 years since I've seen him as a teenager, but mannerisms, the sense of humor, the voice inflections, the twinkle in his eye as he talks about a prank or tells a joke comes out of a grown puppy-man who loves life and brings life and affection to everyone he touches.
And he touches a lot.
As I enjoy our first big bear hug, or see him throw Cameron in the pool, or watch him put his hand on the shoulder of the hotel's bell captain or the ice cream seller as he speaks to them (or the gals at the stoplight, in the RED BULL convertible, whom he asked for samples...and got4 cans by climbing across the backseat of their car and riding along with them to the next light!).
I am reminded how powerfully affirming and humanizing it is to warmly touch other people when we speak to them. Cultural appropriateness be damned! No one - not even strangers - seems to mind a hand on the shoulder, or a hug from the side. I'm encouraged by watching Randy to embrace my outgoing American culture and keep being generous with affection here.
I also believe that he's encouraged by spending time with his old friends here. I know he was observing things about us that influenced him. I'm not sure what, but he was loved on for the last 5 days. Days filled with rich memories, great conversations, a quick time of prayer. With our colleagues the Webbs, we were a chorus of voices from his past who can imagine the impact of what his ultimate contribution could be from his unique position.
Am I a dreamer to see in him a 21st Century Daniel or Joseph? Maybe. But as he heads off to Vietnam and Cambodia on this little Asia tour, I can hopefully envision and pray for the influence he will have as he spends time with God and then simply shares the genuine faith & relationship with Jesus part of who he is with the friends he makes, and touches, through his work.
If he can find a way to do that, the Holy Spirit can do the rest of the talking.
3/29/2009
3/12/2009
PRESCRIPTION: the Spiritual RED BULL of fellowship in Egypt
SINGAPORE. 60% Daoist Chinese. 16% Christian.
Pop: 4 million. Cultural hub of Asia.
My head is spinning from jet lag, career euphoria and a clash of cultures. There’s an Indian Festival going on in the common area of our concrete apartment blocks. My boys are playing funky American hip hop on the stereo. And though Asia has been our home since 1997, I just got back from turning 47 (middle aged?) in the Middle East.
ARAB REPUBLIC OF EGYPT. 90% Muslim. 10% Christian.
Pop: 80 million. Cultural hub of the Middle East.
No. I didn’t mix with the terrorists suspected of bombing a popular tourist spot (Day 1) or have a chance to meet more than one Muslim; a girl who’d just graduated from college in Islamic Law (Day 11). I spent all the time in the middle with 80 of the most passionate followers of Jesus of the millions of Arabic speaking Coptic Christians living in the 10/40 window.
SELF-DOUBT. Is it really a good idea to leave your family for 11 days? I mean really, you’re depressed. You’ve had a hard time juggling homemaking and a few teaching commitments. You’re rarely speaking your hard earned and easily forgotten Chinese in day-to-day life. What are you doing running off to the Arab world to teach drama when you’re a failure in Asia as a wife, mother and missionary who can’t keep toilet paper stocked in the bathrooms let alone be involved in any really significant theatre related work or ministry?
HEALING. Despite having the world’s most supportive and positive husband, I have become world-class at negative self talk.
However, New Year’s 2009 found the children and I making seriously positive steps toward equilibrium and health on all fronts (so far, 20 doctor visits, 6 prescriptions, and 4 books to figure it out!). Amazingly, it turns out that part of my healing was a solo trip to Cairo.
SHOULD I GO? When I was invited to come teach Evangelistic Drama Teams again this year, I brought it up with my sensible lady friends in Bible Study. The 6 who since August have most intimately seen me struggling in readjustment to life in Singapore. Instead of saying,
Egypt? Are you kidding?, they said,
Egypt! You HAVE to go!
I called the conference planner. I wasn’t sure how Playback Theatre, the style I’d taught last year, could be used with their theme this year to “Train the Trainers.” I could see how it might work to have 4 days to take Actors, or Directors, or Script Writers or Technicians to a level where they might be able to pass on some skill. But I needed to ask him directly: Do you really need me there this year? I was sure the answer would be “Not really, …but thanks for asking.” Instead we had a 2 hour conversation that started with,
I don’t think you understand that you’ve made a huge impact on these people. You are famous here. The first thing people ask when I tell them about the conference is, “Will Kimberly be there?” I’ve told them all “Yes!”…. You have to come.
(Egyptians, by the way, are world class at making people feel special. He may very well have said the same to all of the other trainers!)
So, by faith and credit card I booked the ticket and knocked on only two doors to pursue extra funds to help cover the cost in our internationally flagging economy. Door number two, a Singaporean pastor, followed up with an email,
Have my secretary cut Kimberly a check for the entire cost of her flight.
I made 2 Corinthians 12:9 my theme verse for the trip. The Apostle Paul had been complaining about having some kind of a nagging problem, his thorn in the flesh, when he heard God speak to him:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
WEAKNESS INDEED. I made my itinerary to arrive a day before the 5 other international trainers to make sure I’d get over jet lag. A sore throat and drippy nose hit and the now irregular curse hit my aging female reproductive organs full force. By the 3rd of the 4 day conference I couldn’t get myself out of bed for breakfast. While my achy body waited for aspirin, vitamins and the healing of Jesus to kick in, downstairs the conference prayed for me because I had no voice. I laughed about my theme verse and thought, The only way I’d be weaker and his power more perfect is if they brought me in on a stretcher and all laid hands on my English teaching notes to learn by osmosis!
BUT THERE IS A GOD IN HEAVEN. And he cares about you and I and our little attempts to please him. More than I could have even imagined before, his power was made perfect in my weakness. Needing to be flexible, and not knowing ahead of time who or how to prepare, I brought those notes from last year, and the Holy Spirit clearly lead my pedagogy for each of the 13 training sessions. I fell in love with the 10 students in my Playback section who quickly bonded, learned to love and trust each other, grasped the difficult and unusual concepts for this new style, marveled that they could use their whole bodies in worship and storytelling, stretched their creativity to the limits and told me over and over,
I didn’t think this kind of theatre & creativity was possible for Upper Egyptians.
I was skeptical at first, but now I see how amazingly powerful this can be used to bring people closer together and find common ground.
Playback gives us an unforgettable platform for sharing our testimonies, our stories of faith; our prayers. Not just among us in our drama teams, or in our church meetings, but somehow, as you’ve said, God will show us how to use it in our communities to bring down the walls between us and find what we have in common so that maybe we can open doors to share more…
The class did a performance on the last night. You’d have thought they had been rehearsing for more than half a year. One first time observer called it “miraculous.” A dozen told me they wanted to learn it too. Perhaps my class will train them. Perhaps I’ll get a chance to return again. My fellowship with Egyptian Christians for a week was like a Long-lasting Spiritual Red Bull energy drink. I’m more than just pumped, psyched, and excited about being back in Singapore. I’m full of love and motivation to serve my family, navigate the health issues to complete healing, and follow through on many wonderful opportunities I have to merge my other loves: Jesus Christ, artists and theatre. Especially the group of Christians in Theatre that’s recently started meeting Thursday nights. But that’s another story for another letter.
That Self-talking censor is silenced, and I hear myself saying instead,
I wonder how much Arabic I can learn by 2010?
3/03/2009
Playback Class in Egypt
A great week teaching Playback in Egypt this week. Wow! Amazing students. Tons of fun. Eager to hear what and how they end up using it in their cities/teams/ministries...
2/16/2009
2/12/2009
THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY ECCUMENTICAL TOURS
I have a new idea almost every day, but some of them mull around awhile, and some of them actually turn out to be something.
This morning I woke up with an idea: a new Sunday/Saturday night family club!
This is how it works: I round up all the friends i have here who are unsatisfied with church,
and together, once a month, we make own church be ROVING.
We all go en mass to visit churches, pray for that local body and the staff while attending worship, and then with the kids go out to eat after to discuss the varied worship styles and pray for one another
(then write an anonymous blog reporting on the churches we visit).
So many of the people I know here (and in USA) are unhappy with their current church. They genuinely love God, want to honor him in their lives and want to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit seeing God use them for good on this planet. They ALSO long for more out of their weekly connection with the body of Christ and want have something more from their worship and fellowship. It seems like for all of us, corporately connecting with God and connecting with others is so impoverished. It seems like an epidemic.
I wonder if this ECCUMENICAL TOURS is going to be one of my bizarre "crazy ideas" or if it's actually something that will become a calling and turned into action...
This morning I woke up with an idea: a new Sunday/Saturday night family club!
This is how it works: I round up all the friends i have here who are unsatisfied with church,
and together, once a month, we make own church be ROVING.
We all go en mass to visit churches, pray for that local body and the staff while attending worship, and then with the kids go out to eat after to discuss the varied worship styles and pray for one another
(then write an anonymous blog reporting on the churches we visit).
So many of the people I know here (and in USA) are unhappy with their current church. They genuinely love God, want to honor him in their lives and want to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit seeing God use them for good on this planet. They ALSO long for more out of their weekly connection with the body of Christ and want have something more from their worship and fellowship. It seems like for all of us, corporately connecting with God and connecting with others is so impoverished. It seems like an epidemic.
I wonder if this ECCUMENICAL TOURS is going to be one of my bizarre "crazy ideas" or if it's actually something that will become a calling and turned into action...
1/28/2009
Text of Obama's Inaugural Address
Missed it on the news, but I was inspired this morning by reading it and actually do have a little excitement event in the intangible hope that his presidency inspires across the world.
12/27/2008
JOIN ME! Reflections & Resolutions
I love this week between Christmas & New Years. I look over those resolutions from last year and realize:
After 5 years of making the SAME resolution, I took a dance class in January, and when it was over took another one. Not just one, but TWO dance classes...and performed in a dance recital where I was featured! HA (see me dancing to ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST uploaded to youtube!) I'm looking into what my options are now that I'm back in Asia and getting chubbier and stiff again...
I taught music two times a week in Cameron's school which was on the list, but a big focus of my spring in 2008 I didn't even make the resolution for: taking vocal jazz lessons and singing in a jazz ensemble or a jazz club!
I didn't get completely on top of organizing my mailing lists, or go through all the old photos with my mom and dad, or start podcasting, or cut out coffee, but i did cut out the sugar, and go to Africa and Austria and a 5 star hotel in San Francisco (all for ministry trips!)!
I also survived the packing/sorting/moving/goodbyes and hellos of settling back again to Singapore again after our year in Pasadena!
The HUGE thing is I finally came to terms with, was the resolution to BELIEVE THAT GOD IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT. After years of wrestling over my skepticism and lack of a heartfelt conviction that God is good and loving and has me here, now, for His good purposes (I needed more than a belief because of what the Bible says, or knowing it's what I should ascribe to as a Christian). I've finally come to a place where in my deep heart I can trust that he is loving, no matter what the circumstances in my life, or in anyone's life in this messed up world. He grieves deeply over the brokenness in this world, yet he chooses to wait to restore Eden. He is Sovereign and all powerful, his Kingdom will come. From the looks of it, we're not anywhere near it; a time described in the Bible as when "every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." But God has his own good reasons for waiting and holding back his judgement. When bad things happen, he is not malicious or out to get us. He allows but abhors all the many evils in this world - many of which are due to the freedom he gave humankind to freely worship and follow him...or not. For me to fight him over these issues is pointless. It's a SIN of presumption. I presumed that I know better than HIM! The Eternal God of the universe had me live here, and now, in this generation, with the passions and personality I have, for his purposes, I can stop being upset by it all, and stop questioning his judgement, and get to work!
Many prayers, conversations, books, and even some wonderful words directly from God himself worked together for this resolution to be fulfilled, but reading THE SHACK this past fall was like frosting on the cake.
Yeah! Reflection is so good! Though I've recently had the blues over this move & resettling, looking over the list from the WHOLE of last year I'm reminded of God's favour. It's been a GOOD year!
A number of years ago, with 5 young and beautiful Singaporean theatre friends, I started these reflections and Post it note Resolutions. Last January I had the sweet privilege of sharing the exercise with old friends in California. It's really rewarding to reflect and look over the past years and see what's been accomplished, then look ahead with a sense of expectation.
After 5 years of making the SAME resolution, I took a dance class in January, and when it was over took another one. Not just one, but TWO dance classes...and performed in a dance recital where I was featured! HA (see me dancing to ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST uploaded to youtube!) I'm looking into what my options are now that I'm back in Asia and getting chubbier and stiff again...
I taught music two times a week in Cameron's school which was on the list, but a big focus of my spring in 2008 I didn't even make the resolution for: taking vocal jazz lessons and singing in a jazz ensemble or a jazz club!
I didn't get completely on top of organizing my mailing lists, or go through all the old photos with my mom and dad, or start podcasting, or cut out coffee, but i did cut out the sugar, and go to Africa and Austria and a 5 star hotel in San Francisco (all for ministry trips!)!
I also survived the packing/sorting/moving/goodbyes and hellos of settling back again to Singapore again after our year in Pasadena!
The HUGE thing is I finally came to terms with, was the resolution to BELIEVE THAT GOD IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT. After years of wrestling over my skepticism and lack of a heartfelt conviction that God is good and loving and has me here, now, for His good purposes (I needed more than a belief because of what the Bible says, or knowing it's what I should ascribe to as a Christian). I've finally come to a place where in my deep heart I can trust that he is loving, no matter what the circumstances in my life, or in anyone's life in this messed up world. He grieves deeply over the brokenness in this world, yet he chooses to wait to restore Eden. He is Sovereign and all powerful, his Kingdom will come. From the looks of it, we're not anywhere near it; a time described in the Bible as when "every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." But God has his own good reasons for waiting and holding back his judgement. When bad things happen, he is not malicious or out to get us. He allows but abhors all the many evils in this world - many of which are due to the freedom he gave humankind to freely worship and follow him...or not. For me to fight him over these issues is pointless. It's a SIN of presumption. I presumed that I know better than HIM! The Eternal God of the universe had me live here, and now, in this generation, with the passions and personality I have, for his purposes, I can stop being upset by it all, and stop questioning his judgement, and get to work!
Many prayers, conversations, books, and even some wonderful words directly from God himself worked together for this resolution to be fulfilled, but reading THE SHACK this past fall was like frosting on the cake.
Yeah! Reflection is so good! Though I've recently had the blues over this move & resettling, looking over the list from the WHOLE of last year I'm reminded of God's favour. It's been a GOOD year!
A number of years ago, with 5 young and beautiful Singaporean theatre friends, I started these reflections and Post it note Resolutions. Last January I had the sweet privilege of sharing the exercise with old friends in California. It's really rewarding to reflect and look over the past years and see what's been accomplished, then look ahead with a sense of expectation.
May you have a wonderful new year, blessed by God the Father, Jesus the Christ the one who "became flesh and dwelt among us" and the indwelling Holy Spirit. GOD. A Trinity who leads and guides and loves you and me, if we just stop arguing with him and let him be God!
12/26/2008
As the Ruin Falls, CS Lewis
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12/23/2008
A Remarkable Christmas Memory
December 1997. 8 weeks into our 2 years living as language students in China I found myself being asked to teach conversational English in a government university (well, they're all government universities there!). The original teacher had fallen ill and I was asked to take over some of his classes. They agreed to let me teach anything I wanted just to cover the classes for them. So, there I was, in communist China, the drab dingy hospital green walls, still using black boards, and a classroom full of fascinated young people, teaching my first lesson for my series: holiday traditions of the west. I stood there teaching about the original Christmas story and the words to Away in a Manger thinking, "I can't believe it." I marveled. "Communists are paying me to teach this when it wouldn't even be allowed in USA."
12/01/2008
The Humiliation of Still Getting My Act Together
Wrote this a couple weeks ago, just getting it up now...
It's rather humiliating to be months at trying to get my act together and not having a good excuse for not functioning up to par. (a GOOD excuse would be like a terminal illness or something other than "I'm just tired after moving so much, I don't have a car and don't know my way around the neighborhood yet, plus...I'm not used to physical labor in tropical heat")
Anyway, we'll get through this. God has allowed me to be this way. I was thinking a few weeks ago that when I was in my super-got-it-all-together-30's in California, I was EFFICIENT and GIFTED. But I was not EMPATHETIC. My experiences of weakness, being LAME. DISORGANIZED and WIMPY has made me much more sensitive. There was great room for improvement in my sensitivity, so I believe that's part of why I'm in the current situation!
The Lord keeps reminding me that I'm a perfectionist who wants Eden (Heaven) NOW. I may not be doing everything well, but we'll survive no, we'll get through this season. PLUS I'm in constant communion with the Lord in prayer, the students, both at TCA and at ICS have loved what they're learning and experiencing even if I've felt unprepared and behind in planning. The Creasman boys are happy. No one's ready to fire me from any of my roles (yet!..though I have resigned from being a 6th grade room mom!).
I may be humiliated, but I'm submitted to this season of weakness to let God do what he needs to do in me. With me. Suffering produces perseverance, Perseverance character and character HOPE. Hope is coming.
I'm still getting to do some things that I love at least some of the time and find time every week to spend time with people I have come to love here, and even making some new friends along the way too.
If you can relate...I hope you'll take heart in your current situation! These seasons never last forever...
11/12/2008
November News
If you're in the USA and recently voted in the elections, or have been hit by the financial crisis, we've been praying for YOU these past 2 months. We've said it before, but please know that we stand ready to support you in prayer and any other way we can. It is a privilege to stand by you, and our home country USA in prayer. Let us know!
During such times as these, many more people are open to the Gospel or are learning in new ways to put their trust in God's provision and unfailing love. The recent financial crisis, the other election issues, and the change that's coming with our new president elect has catalyzed many of us to fix our hearts on heaven and look to God to be Sovereign and give each of us Godly direction and wisdom. We are all more urgently aware that all of us are on the front line of ministry now! May our relationships with Christ and one another be strengthened as a result of the times we are in.
As for us, we continue to settle here in our new home here and renew relationships, start new initiatives, building on an 8 year foundation.
Jim's been in meetings focused on knowing our Asia Staff better while at a conference in Hong Kong this past week. This month we are adding more staff!
Today Jim is starting a new mentoring network and teaching a seminar to pastors on spiritual authority.
Kimberly finishes teaching her TCA College class Performing Arts in Ministry on the 17th, and the boys have finished up an exciting season of football in Singapore!
Late last summer we wrapped up a promo video about CRM's FOCUSING LEADERS ministry here in Singapore (view it from the link below). It's being used to introduce the ministry locally to Pastors and Christian leaders, but we want to share it with you too since it's a good explanation of why we're here, and what a big part of Jim's ministry is.
As always, we look forward to hearing from you and knowing how we can support you through prayer!
(a recent CRMS staff meeting)
11/04/2008
Putting a Little Music Back in My Life! Gotta Sing! Gotta Dance! Gotta Play!
Other than a couple of tunes for my monday night students, I've not sung since our return.
how abruptly life can make u turns!
Was it really me singing in a LA Jazz Club last May? Or at the 5star Sir Francis Drake in San Francisco?
But I'm gonna get back into it!
This week I've started forcing myself to make music (and exercise) a disciplined part of my day. It started because I got my little electric keyboard back this past week and have decided to give 30 minutes a day to learning how to really play; just see if i commit to it for a few months how much progress i can make.
It's amazing how therapeutic music is for me. MIRACULOUS really.
I've really been fighting yucky symptoms of depression the last month
(i suppose who wouldn't, given the circumstances of another international move, and the workload without helper and a car),
But, I have found that if I just take some still time to shut out the rest and listen to worship music and start singing along, or sitting down at the piano to self-teach some lessons and have a go at some simple songs has actually TRANSFORMED my outlook and I can get on with the day with a happy attitude that's not just being the "strong little soldier" who's constantly crying out to the Lord, "Change my heart oh God!" (the Thessalonians verse "Pray without ceasing" is especially helpful for the depressed who have an extra challenge of "taking all those negative thoughts captive and giving them to the Lordship of Christ!)
A few months ago I told Jim that all my life I've wanted a real piano, and that if I prove to myself that I'm committed, I'm going to reward myself with purchasing or renting one! I've got the name of a 2nd hand dealer and a rental company.
Regardless of my children's lack of enthusiasm for taking music lessons (yes, with football over, now there's room in their week for other activities), I'm ready to roll! I don't have the emotional energy to force them to complain through their practicing, or keeping them on task with it, while I'm in the kitchen peeling the carrots for dinner.
If they don't want to practice for their music lessons, I'll have THEM make the dinner and I'LL practice!
how abruptly life can make u turns!
Was it really me singing in a LA Jazz Club last May? Or at the 5star Sir Francis Drake in San Francisco?
But I'm gonna get back into it!
This week I've started forcing myself to make music (and exercise) a disciplined part of my day. It started because I got my little electric keyboard back this past week and have decided to give 30 minutes a day to learning how to really play; just see if i commit to it for a few months how much progress i can make.
It's amazing how therapeutic music is for me. MIRACULOUS really.
I've really been fighting yucky symptoms of depression the last month
(i suppose who wouldn't, given the circumstances of another international move, and the workload without helper and a car),
But, I have found that if I just take some still time to shut out the rest and listen to worship music and start singing along, or sitting down at the piano to self-teach some lessons and have a go at some simple songs has actually TRANSFORMED my outlook and I can get on with the day with a happy attitude that's not just being the "strong little soldier" who's constantly crying out to the Lord, "Change my heart oh God!" (the Thessalonians verse "Pray without ceasing" is especially helpful for the depressed who have an extra challenge of "taking all those negative thoughts captive and giving them to the Lordship of Christ!)
A few months ago I told Jim that all my life I've wanted a real piano, and that if I prove to myself that I'm committed, I'm going to reward myself with purchasing or renting one! I've got the name of a 2nd hand dealer and a rental company.
Regardless of my children's lack of enthusiasm for taking music lessons (yes, with football over, now there's room in their week for other activities), I'm ready to roll! I don't have the emotional energy to force them to complain through their practicing, or keeping them on task with it, while I'm in the kitchen peeling the carrots for dinner.
If they don't want to practice for their music lessons, I'll have THEM make the dinner and I'LL practice!
10/12/2008
ReEntry Culture Shock & Convictions: Sin Revealed and Confessed
Nesting:
HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF: Eight weeks after moving to the new place, I've emptied all the cardboard boxes in my house and things are hung up on the walls. Making progress and feeling more and more at home. It's a good feeling after being in transition for months. We're getting back into the swing of life in Singapore. (Next week: window coverings!)
Conviction:,
Despite the forward progress in nesting, I did have a moment this week while draining all the moisture out of my body and walking down the street (because we have no car, and I took the wrong bus which dropped me blocks from our apartment), I was walking in the middle of the day in the hot muggy equatorial sun, I found myself saying to myself things I might never say aloud, but I dare write on this blog:
"Damn! I CHOSE this life???
I CHOSE this???
This life sucks! [step, step, squint, step]
Sucks! Sucks Sucks!....[step, step, squint, step]
God...I don't want to respond this way to my life circumstances.
I want to be positive.
I want to be thankful.
What do you want to say to me in the midst of this?
What am I to learn?" [step, step, squint, step]
"I'm listening..."
And a word popped into my head like handwriting on the wall:
"ENTITLEMENT."
It wasn't judgmental. It was just there. As a fact. My middle-class, American, life of comforts and ease and airconditioners...I BELIEVE I AM ENTITLED to an easier life. It was immediately clear. God wanted me to realize that, though I may have left a better lifestyle , though many of my friends enjoy more comforts, I am not entitled to ease. I realize I am angry that Singaporeans who have it better than their geographical neighbors, don't realize that I have SACRIFICED to make this country my home. But today I am convicted of my sin of assumed Entitlement. Who am I to think I deserve a better life than most of the world's population? Who am I to think I deserve a car, cooler weather, health, safety? Who am I to think I deserve more than the neighbors around me, or as much as the expatriates i mix with through sports or Bible study?
Just because I've had a more cushy life before, why should I assume and feel like I deserve it now? Why? Because, even though I CHOSE THIS LIFE, it's humiliating to think that I might be someone's charity case or community service project. I like being on the giving end of things! It's not quite as pleasant being the needy one.
Anyway, as we've been watching the stock market (and our retirement investments) fall in value, in light of the financial worries of so many of us in the world (who are the "haves"), it was humbling for me to have to face this sin in my heart about the assumption of ENTITLEMENT.
In truth, he doesn't owe me anything; and gave up HEAVEN to walk this earth as a beggar and die a criminal's crucifixion for me.
What am I complaining about?
Lord have mercy on me a sinner.
HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF: Eight weeks after moving to the new place, I've emptied all the cardboard boxes in my house and things are hung up on the walls. Making progress and feeling more and more at home. It's a good feeling after being in transition for months. We're getting back into the swing of life in Singapore. (Next week: window coverings!)
Conviction:,
Despite the forward progress in nesting, I did have a moment this week while draining all the moisture out of my body and walking down the street (because we have no car, and I took the wrong bus which dropped me blocks from our apartment), I was walking in the middle of the day in the hot muggy equatorial sun, I found myself saying to myself things I might never say aloud, but I dare write on this blog:
"Damn! I CHOSE this life???
I CHOSE this???
This life sucks! [step, step, squint, step]
Sucks! Sucks Sucks!....[step, step, squint, step]
God...I don't want to respond this way to my life circumstances.
I want to be positive.
I want to be thankful.
What do you want to say to me in the midst of this?
What am I to learn?" [step, step, squint, step]
"I'm listening..."
And a word popped into my head like handwriting on the wall:
"ENTITLEMENT."
It wasn't judgmental. It was just there. As a fact. My middle-class, American, life of comforts and ease and airconditioners...I BELIEVE I AM ENTITLED to an easier life. It was immediately clear. God wanted me to realize that, though I may have left a better lifestyle , though many of my friends enjoy more comforts, I am not entitled to ease. I realize I am angry that Singaporeans who have it better than their geographical neighbors, don't realize that I have SACRIFICED to make this country my home. But today I am convicted of my sin of assumed Entitlement. Who am I to think I deserve a better life than most of the world's population? Who am I to think I deserve a car, cooler weather, health, safety? Who am I to think I deserve more than the neighbors around me, or as much as the expatriates i mix with through sports or Bible study?
Just because I've had a more cushy life before, why should I assume and feel like I deserve it now? Why? Because, even though I CHOSE THIS LIFE, it's humiliating to think that I might be someone's charity case or community service project. I like being on the giving end of things! It's not quite as pleasant being the needy one.
Anyway, as we've been watching the stock market (and our retirement investments) fall in value, in light of the financial worries of so many of us in the world (who are the "haves"), it was humbling for me to have to face this sin in my heart about the assumption of ENTITLEMENT.
In truth, he doesn't owe me anything; and gave up HEAVEN to walk this earth as a beggar and die a criminal's crucifixion for me.
What am I complaining about?
Lord have mercy on me a sinner.
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